Don't Cover it Up, Cover it in Grace!

   As I sit here to type this out I have spent the better part of the last couple of days simply soaking and resting in the presence of Jesus. I have stilled myself before the Lord and allowed him to evaluate my heart. This is a process that often is painful and can be messy, but is a place we need to frequent more often. As I let the Lord reveal my hearts desires and intentions to me, I realized that there was a lot more purity in me than I tend to give myself credit for. I also noticed, there were several walls that I have allowed to remain around my heart, blocking me from receiving the fullness of the healing and Love he has for me.

   There was a stirring in me to allow him to speak directly to my heart concerning past pains, hurts, losses, areas where I was wronged, etc. As he began to unfold these things before me I quickly began to realize that there were many areas in my heart that I had allowed to be covered up rather than covered by Grace. 

   I was prompt to ask the Lord for his forgiveness in these areas but he quickly stopped me. "Listen," he said to my spirit "just listen." He began to unfold before me the root of these issues in my heart. And it was a nasty root with a weed attached to it, trying to choke out the fruit in my life. I assumed I was dealing with pride and angst, anger towards others, blame even. And that's when he showed me. I was the root! I was getting in my own way, and to such a degree it was causing myself pain and anxiety. 

   You see, this wasn't what you would expect. It certainly wasn't what I expected. The issue I was having was seeing myself as he sees me. To see myself as enjoyed and loved. It's so easy for us to apply the word of the Lord to others and to expect healing and miracles when praying for others. It's so easy to tell someone that they are God's favorite one and actually believe it and mean it! But it can (at times) be a whole different ball game when applying that love and healing to ourselves. You see, the thing that was causing me so much turmoil was the way I see and treat myself! 

   Somewhere along the way I had forgotten that God is no respecter of persons and that he loves ME!! Yes ME!!! He doesn't look at me and see my failures. He doesn't see my flaws and he doesn't see my scars. He sees me in perfection. Yes, when my Father looks at me he sees Jesus in me. The perfect creation he made me to be! 

 

After several hours of humble evaluation at the feet of Jesus in repentance I began to feel liquid warmth over me. I went outside and spent some time enjoying the beautiful spring weather with my pregnant wife, son, and dog and just soaking in the simplicity of the moment. Then it hit me. The way I love my wife, my son (and coming son) and even my dog. The pure joy that I get from just being in their presence and watching them enjoy themselves. This joy doesn't even touch the Joy that is brought to God when I come and spend time with him. He enjoys me! 

   I'm not writing this with a real definitive point other than this: be encouraged! We all fall short of the Glory of God, but there is nothing we can say, do, or think that will cut us away from his Grace. There is no such thing as "too far" to be reeled back into our Father's loving arms. And know that Jesus wants to hang out with you! He doesn't need our lofty prayers. He doesn't need us to say or do anything at all! He just wants to enjoy our presence! What a beautiful thing! The God that created you wants to spend time with you, if you will let him!

   My challenge to those reading this is simply to allow God to have some of your time. Set apart some of your day and just allow him to love on you. No amount of time is too small or too great! Any time at all is more appreciated than you can fathom (and I can guarantee it!) I pray that you all would find yourselves making more time to allow God to enjoy you, and you won't be disappointed! And don't be surprised when you find yourself enjoying him, too! 

You Are the Potter, I am the Clay

"We now have this light shining in our hearts, but we ourselves are like fragile clay jars containing this great treasure. This makes it clear that our great power is from God, not from ourselves" - 2 Corinthians 4:7

In this scripture, Paul refers to the human condition as being a "jar of clay." The thing about clay vessels, is that unless they have been properly cured and molded, they can be extremely brittle and fragile. During our entire lives, we are being remolded and stretched and added to by the Lord, just as the potter does with the miry clay (Isaiah 64:8)

When my wife and myself had lost our 2nd child last year, this started off a season of deep searching and yearning for more. I knew that the processes of the Lord were to develop character and maturity in my heart, but while in the midst of such a dark place, it was extremely difficult to see that any good would ever come of this.
All through out the scriptures we see the testimony of "trial by fire." Peter discusses how we face these trials while counting it all joy (1 Peter 4:12-15) and that there is benefit from the growth and fruit produced.
We see further testament of this in 1 Peter 1:6-7, James 1:2-4, 2 Timothy 1:8 and more.

As I sought these truths out through my pain in that time, I cried out to the Lord, that he would give me clarity on these trying times. And the Lord spoke to me, softly and sweetly. He showed me that our character is not developed by the trials that we go through, but rather, by our reaction to those trials. Our hardships do not define us, but they allow the Spirit within to come forth as our testimony is being developed.

Now, back to the clay jar-
In this time I wept unto the Lord, in both joy and pain. Knowing that this hurt was something I could not manage, but that the Lord would  manage for me, and he is always willing to take on our burdens! (Psalm 55:22, 1 Peter 5:7)

The Lord showed me an image of myself as a clay vessel. It was ugly, and cracked. Not fully broken, but on the verge of falling apart. If liquid would be poured in, it would have easily leaked out through the gaping cracks.

As I looked at this broken vessel of myself, I saw the Lord as the potter. He gently picked me up and examined me (the jar.) As he did so, he wept for me. Seeing me broken hurt his heart! As he wept he took his tears and began to apply them to me as a salve. He continued to apply them to me (the jar) until it was malleable again. As the jar became more malleable, he began to stretch the vessel. He didn't smooth in the cracks right away, and he didn't work to make it more "pretty" but he enlarged it (me)!
Once he was finished, he took me and placed me into the kiln. I knew as he did this that this was going to hurt, but I also knew that this was required, in order for me (the jar) to be functional. After what seemed like an eternity in the kiln, the Lord took out the Jar (which now actually looked like me) and placed me on a seat next to him, and grabbed me by the hand.
When the Lord showed me this image, it was so very overwhelming. But also, very reassuring. The kiln (the fire) was something that was painful. Very hot and very scary and intimidating. But also it was required! It didn't kill me, but rather served a larger purpose. It was curing me, so that I could be functional.

We all have seasons in our lives of being broken and damaged, seasons of being malleable and re-formed, seasons of fire (the kiln) and trial and curing, and doing it all over again. But how great we are Loved by the creator of the universe! That he would take the time to mold each one of us, carefully and perfectly. Not taking too much time, and not in a rush. Doing the right amount of work in the right amount of time.
It is easy to remember these things when everything is going well, and we don't have a care in the world, but can be difficult to draw strength from when we are in those valley seasons.
But we can take comfort in knowing, that we are not alone. God never told us that he would take away all of the difficulties in our path, but instead, offers this promise:
"Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me."
This passage tells us all that we will go through these valley seasons, but that we never face them alone. Through every trial, and every step, God is right there with us to comfort and strengthen us.

Each and every crack in our own vessel represents our testimony. It represents the character that God develops in us, and it shows our human condition. It is not something that is ugly, but rather, something that is being made beautiful!

I encourage you to embrace your "cracks." Knowing that yes, more will come, but God is the all-knowing potter. You may become damaged a little here and there, but those cracks aren't ugly. They are your character being made righteous in Jesus. And when the love of Jesus covers you, you can stand strong knowing that your seasons in the kiln are producing a stronger, and more durable vessel (with a whole lot more character!)